Now Tell Us How You Really Feel
by Cereal-Killa
Summary: Contains large doses of 'loser' and 'too much time on my hands'. Read at your own risk. Complete unless I say so.
1. Thank You, Total Drama

Now Tell Us How You Really Feel

This story was originally taken down officially on May 29th.

I put it back up.

Yes, I am aware I'm a BAMF. :D

Enjoy!

1-

**Thank You, Total Drama**

It's a lovely day at Camp Wawanakwa.

But who cares? Right now, I'm on a plane.

Not just any plane, mind you. The plane I write Fan Fiction's about. The epic plane. And right here, right now, in front of my very eyes, are the two people I've been fantasizing about for more than a quarter of my life; Duncan and Courtney.

I don't know their last names but for some reason, that doesn't bother me in the slightest. Courtney is still everything I want to be, mostly because she got Duncan, but that's a different story for a different day. They sit with each other but still disconnect in a way, like the other is tainted and like they can't wait until this is over with.

I ignore that thought and continue.

"So Duncan," I begin, immediately regretting it because as soon as Duncan tilts his head to spare me a dry look, I nearly pass out. It's not smart to address the object of your obsession so easily and actually get a reaction back. I try not to foam at the mouth and skip out on whatever I was going to ask (like I can remember it now).

Courtney is smiling at me but it fails to reach her eyes. She obviously must think I am somebody of importance, which I am so not. I'm just a fifteen year old girl from Kentucky who occasionally sits down with a laptop and writes her heart out. I've never been on TV except once when I was four at a petting zoo and another time as one of the women dressed in pink in the background of a breast cancer walk commercial. I'm not important to anyone but my overly large family. I chew my lip, an odd habit I've had since a young age. I am of no significance.

But Courtney does not have to know that. A side glance at Duncan and an attempt to stop hyperventilating makes me think that he doesn't either.

"Courtney, age sixteen, black eyes, brown skin, freckles. Was part of a school band which was unsuccessful. Main instrument is the violin. Class president, class valedictorian, honors student, class treasurer. This is you?" I push my reading glasses father up my nose when Courtney nods. I actually have two pairs of prescription glasses, but that's due to the fact that I totally bullshitted the vision test and I seriously don't need them. But I think they are cute, so I had my father spend a fortune on them anyway.

"Yes, that is me." Courtney is obviously pleased with my description of her, but it was more of me listing off facts I knew, not a description. I have made many descriptions of Courtney before, but I'm not allowed to mention those now.

I must stay canon, people.

"And how long have you been sixteen exactly?" She blinks at me and I realize I'm over stepping my boundaries here. Cartoons tend to short circuit when you confuse them too much. "Forget it. Next question."

Of course, my next problem is my previous problem, which is addressing Duncan. But right now, I'm having a bigger problem, and that is keeping myself from mentally _undressing _him. "Duncan, age sixteen, blue eyes, Caucasian, green Mohawk. Was part of a garage band that was very successful. Weapon of choice is a lighter and anything within arm's reach. Voted most likely to skin small animals in middle school. Been to Juvenile Hall nine times in the past five years. Is this an accurate portrayal?"

Duncan smirks, a shit eating grin, a wide smile if that is what you prefer. "The one and only." He then gets the same disinteresting tone and half lidded bedroom eyes he usually has as he continues. "And you are?"

I pick at my thumb nail, the one that is longer than all the others before licking my lips. I forgot to bring chap stick so I feel naked. "Just call me Cereal." I give them a nervous smile that automatically falters and decide that maybe now would be a good time to put my hair up. I avoid eye contact at all costs.

"Cereal?" I try my best not to cream my pants when my nick name rolls off Duncan's tongue. He's so sexy it hurts. But I can't focus on that. This is not some OC romance with a Mary Sue who's busting her ass to not be a Mary Sue.

I'm an actually person, I'm actually fifteen, and I'm actually just some chick who can't really do her make-up and who sometimes forgets to put on deodorant. (Not all the time, mind you.)

(Just sometimes.)

"Yes, Cereal, full pen name Cereal-Killa, is there a problem?" I say it fast and try to stutter and I amazingly do so without a repeated word to be found. Duncan nods and I hope it's a nod of acceptance but more likely it's one of suspicious disgust.

Courtney, who has remained eerily quiet with this plastic smile on her face for the past two minutes coughs and gains my attention, although Duncan continues to peer at me curiously. "May I ask why we're here?"

To tell the truth, this is a really sad picture in my mind. I'm fifteen. I should be out trying to pick up that guy my friend introduced me to yesterday, I should be doing my summer reading homework or figuring out to work the new dryer but here I am. Talking to characters that I have shaped to be my tools.

"You're here because I just… I don't know. I wanted to say thanks."

At this point Duncan is looking at me so dryly I start tapping my foot, starting the bullshit version of what my friend calls Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS); I've never heard of it, I'm not going to Google it, and I truly don't care if it's real or not. I say this because in the back of my mind I'm sure that I will get a flame about this later.

Courtney hardens her eyes, her nose scrunching up and ruining the fake smile. "Thanks?"

Duncan takes his pinky and picks something out of his ear. "Who are you, exactly?"

I give them a blank wide eyed stare. "Cereal."

"We know that." I flinch a little because for a second there. I was sure Courtney was going to bite me. I have no idea why I'm so surprised. I've studied this character and her violent anger tendencies like it was my religion, and yet there is still so much I wonder about with these two. I wonder how the voice actors inspire themselves to be the character. I wonder who exactly came up with each design for the two, gave them a name, colors, edgy American cartoon lines; what brought these two to life?

Duncan looks at me with an edge this time. It's obvious that I need to explain myself.

He reaches for his pocket knife. I gulp.

I need to explain myself. Quickly.

I came here to gather information for my writing. But all of a sudden, things are taking a much different turn.

"I've been writing stories about you two since I was twelve years old."

Duncan stiffens before dragging a palm down his face in aggravation. Courtney's face is getting more and more red as time goes on and I try my hardest not to squeal. A Courtney outburst. I pull out my pocket notebook and snatch the ballpoint pen my father gave me from behind my ear. I've wondered what one of these looks like up close for a long time. I'm definitely going to take notes.

"SO ALL YOU ARE IS A FAN?" Courtney yells, but she stops when she sees my face.

The pocket book fell, along with my pen. I'm pretty sure I look damn scary with my eyes wide and jaw clenched like that but I could care less at this moment. "…A fan."

Do you realize what those words mean?

For years, I've been nothing. Nothing but a fan.

I sneak around on my laptop and upload chapters to stories none of family but my twin brother knows about.

My best friend, Alex, is my only 'in real life' supporter. The only one who tells me that I'm going to make it big and that he's believed since we were in diapers. That my writing was made for more than just a FanFiction webpage.

For years, I've told my friends I was typing up something for a biology report or just 'for fun'. I've never told anyone about how I sit up until three in the morning with my TV on but switched to mute as to not distract me from my brain storming as my eyes dull in front of the computer screen.

I've written over one hundred stories for these two. For these two people, for these two cartoons, for these two _figments of my imagination _I've written a one shot long enough to be considered a small book. I've draw fan art, I've made polls, communities, written stories, for years I've been working with these two, molding them into my own and in turn, they've molded me into the author I am today, taken my edgy sides and shaping them, bringing more and more closer to my version of 'perfection' each day.

And still.

I am no more than a fan.

"…I wanted to say thank you. Last week, I received a message from a girl. She asked me if she could translate my stories. The ones I wrote about you."

They both stay silent. I have no idea what their faces must look like, I closed mine a long time ago and I refuse to open them for fear of repulsion, of disgust, of rejection from the two people I need approval from.

I crave it. I have to feel it. Just a little.

For just a moment.

"My mother died when I was younger. I didn't want to write. I didn't even like to read. And then I wrote this poem. It was called 'Pieces'. I wrote it for her. I wrote it because my teacher was going to nag me about it and because my Dad would whoop my ass if I got another D on my report card.

"And I won."

I try not to, but the tears are falling freely. God, I'm such an idiot but I don't stop talking. "I won a contest and then I wrote a short story, and then I wrote more and more and…" My breath is catching in my throat and I try not to choke. "People send me reviews. They tell me how much they like my writing, how much they _love _my writing. Hundreds of reviews. Just… for me. Mine."

"You two helped me through so much. When my sister had a miscarriage, when my boyfriend broke up with me, when I found out I was born with a blood disease, you guys were _there._

"I laugh when I write about you, I cry when I write about you, and I just fucking **feel **and dammit. I feel good. But there is something you taught me, you both did. It's that I don't have to write about you to feel this way, to feel this great about myself."

I finally look up and see Courtney, looking at me with confusion and pity, and Duncan, a hard frown but a soft look directed at me. "_I just have to_ _write_."

I look up at them and know they don't understand. But their trying. It's just another story they've heard, like legalizing pot or making 'ginormous' an actually word in the dictionary. Other people look at me, at my writing, and say, "She could go somewhere someday."

But you know what? Fuck that.

I'm Cereal-Killa, been writing for three years, and I'm here to tell you that I will go places. I will be that person people look up to. All I have to do is keep doing what I've been doing, brain storming, improving, and living on the side.

While Duncan and Courtney wave to me as they push me out of the plane, and I wonder about where my parachute is and how my head is feeling dizzier and dizzier, none of that really matters.

I'm gonna be big.

Anyone on this site can be.

You can write about anything, about yaoi, about horror, shit, you can write about anything you god damn want as long as you just keep writing.

And it helps, you know, if you write pretty good.

**A**uthor **s**tuff:

Dear World,

I'm coming.

Love, Cereal

YES I AM AWARE THAT THESE REVIEWS ARE LONGER THAN THE ACTUAL STORY THEMSELVES. Haha, I just kind of wanted to not let them disappear. They are deeply special to me, especially this batch of reviews. This was one of the first stories I was very nervous about putting on FF, due to the fact that it featured a lot of concepts that I wasn't sure I should share or let people know about. The positive feedback I received really helped me out and make me smile when I read them. :D So suck it up and just skip them if ya don't wanna read them, shoot!

ORIGINAL REVIEWS:

_From: HarryAndCourtney_

Awsome, Cereal, really..._You__Rock, just it._

And yeh, I love this story.

(I read yours oneshots in Italian, too. :D) But this, is just A-W-S-O-M-E! :D

**From: Ashe Simon**

**You ****write because**** you ****need to, like breathing.**** You ****write becaue**** you ****can't  
think of anything else but the new story**** you ****have.**** You ****write because it saves  
****you ****from going insane.**

**You ****know what?**

I'm like that too.

Been reading some of your stories, they're really good. Keep it up, the more  
**you ****write, the better**** you ****get. If**** you****'re going to make it big, here's some  
advice.**

1. Start writing stories other than fan fiction.** You ****don't have to post it,  
but if**** you ****want to, check out .**** You ****can copyright everything and  
make it impossile to copy and paste, unlike**** fanfiction (dot) net.******

2. Tell people** you ****know about your writing. Sometimes they can be the best to  
review your work, and aren't afraid to tell**** you ****the good, the bad, and the  
ugly (not that there'd be much ugly in your case, but**** you ****never know.)**

3. Don't be afraid of what people think of something** you ****are proud of. People  
have different tastes in everything, so there are going to be people who will  
put down something that might be really good. At the same time, accept and  
listen to constructie criticism that is given, and use this to help enhance  
your writing talent.**

4. Start small, and work your way up in getting things published. Newspapers  
and magazines are good places to start, getting short stories published. Then,  
go for the novels.

Yes a lot of this is common sense, but it's all I can say.** You ****have talent, so  
nurture it and let it grow and bloom until it's bigger than ever.**

I wish** you ****luck, your friend Alex sounds smart, so listen to them.**

And one last thing. Staying up until 3 in the morning staring at a computer  
screen and having a TV screen on is NOT good for your eyes. Please turn on  
lights so** you ****don't burn your eyes out.**** You ****might not need prescription  
glasses now, but your eyes don't stop growing until they're 21, so**** you ****might  
need them later on in life. Glasses actually suck when**** you ****actually need them.  
Prescription glasses when unnessicary can also screw up your eyes. BEWARE!**

Anyways, that's about it.

Laters

~Ashe Simon

_From: CarmillaD ()_

I have to admit that I laughed A LOT with the first part of the story,  
especially with the influences of "The Super Duncan Fan Club" and the  
reallistic reactions of the characters, but the last part left me shocked:  
Didn't know_ you __had to deal with so many things and writing stories about them  
was like your lifesaver. Hey, wanna know something? *looking at both sides and  
whispering* Since I was eleven, my equivalent to what Duncan and Courtney are  
to__ you __have been Earthworm Jim and Princess What's-Her-Name, I swear it. They  
triggered my imagination and made me so happy in my gloomiest days. They were  
later joined (Not replaced) by Beetlejuice and Lydia._

The ending was kinda... bittersweet, classic of black humor (Very Jhonen  
Vasquez-like). Of course_ you__'re going places! Look at__ you__, so young yet such a  
skilled writer! What if the characters already exist and are cartoons? They're  
just like Lego pieces, the important thing is how__ you __use them to build a  
story._

Congratulations for your vaste artwork, and please keep creating such  
wonderful stories.

**From: Lady of Liebe**

I am so happy I'm not the only one who feels that way...

But that was really good, I know exactly where**you****'re coming from. Except I  
don't post my stuff on Fanfiction, I'm the only one reading it. But****you****'re  
from Kentucky too o.O**

I really liked it! I giggled alot x3

_From: InsanelyCrazy3299 _

_i actually really know what__you__'re talking about. I'm more of a reader than a  
writer though. But i still love writing when your mind over flows with ideas  
and just need to write them down. But more importantly when i read it i feel  
the words like they're in me... ok i rambling now but anyway,__thankyou__from  
all the writers who ever just wanted to be,_

Love, Peace, Happiness

InsanelyCrazy3299

**From: ILurveKennehMcormick **

**YOUR AWESOME!**

_From: SlowlyBreakingSky _

_I love this.__You__know, I've seen people constantly say all FanFiction writers  
are terrible and they should all just write original stories, and hey, they  
made me angry. I'd always argue, that no, FanFiction is about expressing your  
joy and interest in a show and improving your writing. FanFiction is all about  
getting better as a writer and having other people tell__you__how__you__can  
advance your writing skills. It's also about having fun and getting an outlet  
for when__you__need it.__Thank__you__for really showing that in words._

When I first started writing FanFiction on a different account it was all  
terrible. I still got a few nice reviews though. With those nice things people  
said in mind, I kept writing and got better and better to the point where I'm  
probably the best writer in my grade. And FanFiction and the users here are  
the reasons for that.

All of the writers here on FanFiction, the great ones and the awful ones  
alike, are here to get better and have fun. I can't help but ask those people  
who say FanFiction is horrible, what's wrong with having fun?_You__'re getting  
better with every story__you__write and, with practice,__you__probably have what  
it takes to be a great author one day._

Keep up the fantastic job.

**From: Demon-Something **

**So... yeah, I was just going through my old archive of messages for some  
reason, and I noticed one for****you****. I clicked on the link to your profile, and  
I found this. And I'm so glad I did.**

I used TD fanfiction as a way to vent negative emotion: fear of anonymity,  
fear of death, loath of others, betrayal at the later seasons, and a way to  
show how I thought, to let my mind run free and actually get a result out of  
it.

But most of all, I used to feel things I was certain I'd never feel. I've  
never felt a death, anonymity, true hate. What**Total****Drama****fanfiction did for  
me was that it shook me out of a plain, if nice and comfortable life and let  
me see what could happen, as opposed to would.**

In the World of Would, I'd go through high school with a whole bunch of  
stress, take the SAT, go to college, get a job, all those things**you****should  
do.****You****need the World of Would, but it gets to be too much. In comes the  
World of Could, just your mind away. In there, hilarious and tragic things  
happen, people come and go, and anything is possible. Heather running an  
equivalent of a Dollhouse? Normal. Courtney, Noah, Duncan, Izzy, and Geoff as  
ace fighter pilots. Eh, nothing too strange. It's cathartic, and helps****you****in  
the Would. The Could is who****you****are, as creative or utterly conformist as****you****  
happen to be.**

And**you****need both. Until I started writing fanfiction, I think I focused on  
the Would too much, and I was having a horrible time in life. Around the time  
I started writing however, I became a happier person, got good friends for the  
first time in my life, and lived with less guilt and regret. That's what  
fanfiction can do to a person. It's not getting net-famous over like  
Winter-Rae and the Kobold Necromancer back in the day, it' what****you****do with  
yourself.**

I would like to do something like this, as a final farewell to**Total****Drama****.  
I've had enough of the character derailment, Owen's excessive screen time, the  
abuse of Ezekiel. And so I plan to leave it behind. I'm in the middle of my  
last story for****Total****Drama****, and it's a crossover fic. All I want to do there  
is tell the best story I can, because I think I'm fixed inside. When I'm done  
with that, maybe I'll do something like this too.**

Before this fic, I knew**you****for random song parodies, but now I now****you****as a  
writer. While that could never be the path for me, who knows, maybe I'll get  
published in paper and binding... or e-readers,****you****never know. I'd like to  
****thank****you****for writing out the Spirit of Fanfiction, coming to terms with  
yourself. And one day, I'll read your groundbreaking novel, even though it'll  
be in years. Why? Because I know that****you****might just do it.**

_From: mende5525 _

_I just want to say that was amazing and that i know how__you__feel. Lately I  
haven't been writing as much as I want to because of adult stuff, but whenever  
i am down in a funk its when I like to read back over my stories and reviews  
and realize how much it still means to me to be able to have characters and  
story telling to be there for me when I need it most._

I myself hope to get back to my writing soon and i hope_you__continue doing it  
yourself, your an amazing writer and an amazing person. Keep going!_

**From: DxC-Lova ()**

I read tons of these stories about DxC and I came across this one story .. I  
thought I'll give it a shot and I havnt written a story on this website but I  
kinda wanna giv it a try and this story really gets to me! It's really  
inspirational and I just wanna tell that ur story's are amazing and ur amazing  
follow ur dream and I hope it comes true ! U have my best wishes and my  
blessing to becoming an author ~with love from an ordinary 12 yr old girl in  
Chicago lol 3 :)!¡!

_From: randomzchicka _

___You__put a lot of heart into this._

That shows a lot of guts and love, for writing, your reviewers, and yourself.

_You__gained much respect from me and hopefully others._

_You__are going to make it big. As__you__probably already know.__You__have what it  
takes, guts, love, strength, and the talent and love to write._

I hope all your wishes come true!

**From: lemon1110 **

**Cereal-****You****ARE going to make it big someday. And I'll be the first to tell  
everyone how long I've been reading your stories. For...3 years now? I finally  
decided to make an account last year and I wrote 2 stories that suck. None  
Duncan and Courtney yet- I'm making sure they don't suck. And through all the  
shit that's gone on in the last few years- DxC helped me through. Heartbreak.  
Etc. People DON'T KNOW how to be a fan these days. People like us? We are. My  
heart just starts beating like a horseradish (Do not ask) when I start  
fangirling. :) So****thanks****for being there for me!**

Love Always,

Lemon

_From: xXfigxXD _

_Best one-shot, no, story I have ever read on this site. And yeah,__you__'ll  
definetly make it. No doubt._

**From: VampiricAphrodite **

***extremely loud applause***

**You****rock, Cereal! I freaking love this! I love how****you****kept with the canon of  
the show, and the way Duncan and Courtney reacted to your fan-ness (which is  
not a word, but still). I love the writing style, how****you****described Courtney  
and Duncan and the way****you****interacted with them. I could definitely relate to  
the things****you****said about wondering how the characters came to life. I've  
always wondered stuff like that, too.**

This is totally inspirational and amazing. It made me feel better about being  
a fanfiction writer, and inspired me to keep writing and never stop. I'll  
definitely read the books**you****write when****you****become a famous author. :)**

XOXO

VampiricAphrodite

_From: Iluvpurpleandblack99 _

_Your writing is truly breathtaking and I'm so inspired to write more because  
of the nice people on this site; including__you__. Every time__you__write a new  
story, I jump for joy like it's Christmas (My favorite holiday!). That's how  
good your stories make me feel and I applaud__you__for that. I know__you__'ll make  
it big someday and I hope__you__remember your starting points when__you__gather  
that much success. Don't forget about FF either since that's where the cool  
people are! Jk but seriously, I believe that__you__'ll go far. Can't wait till  
your book comes out. Sincerely, Iluvpurpleandblack99 3_

:D

**From: The Voices Talk to Me **

**Awww, dude, is this FOR-REAL? Because this made me CRY. But I liked it.**

_From: Lolibarbie-is-too-lazy-but ()_

...lolibarbie-is-totally-and-utterly-moved. I LOVE it! I do believe_ you __could  
go somewhere one day,__ you__'re an amazing writer(:_

**From: Alexex **

**By God, Cereal,**** you****... I... no words. But I'm gonna force 'em out, 'cause**** you****  
deserve them!**

It's great,** you ****know? To know that there's someone out there just like**** you****.**

It helps** you ****feel less alone.**

**You ****have no idea how much**** you ****inspire me, and I'm not bullshitting**** you ****either.  
I'm dead serious. I have few supporters who are my real life friends, and to  
be honest, it's people like**** you****- people on fanfiction who are the ones who  
truly appreciate stuff like this.**

This was absolutely touching, and I am so glad** you ****shared this. Honestly.**

**You****...just, wow. Wow, is all I have to say. To anything**** you ****write! I honestly  
would kill, with a machete to be as talented with**** you****, but like**** you ****said..  
Just keep writing. And I will.**

I tell my friends about** you****,**** you ****know. Whenever**** you ****post something new, I pull  
it up on my smartphone (which is crap, by the way. -.-) and show it to them,  
saying "Guys,**** you ****have to read this, she is AMAZING!"**

And I mean it. Honest, I do. I am so sorry for not reviewing as often as I  
should, but life gets in the way. It's strange, because I don't really feel  
like I'm living, unless I'm on the stage, playing my sax, or am on this site.  
My mom thinks I'm addicted, and I probably am, because I can't go a day  
without visiting this site. :P

Anyways, I'm blabbing and probably sound super lame. But whatever.

**You ****rock, don't ever forget it! And there's nothing wrong with being a fan,  
Ceral.**** You ****have hundreds, maybe even thousands, including me. ;)**

Never stop writing.

Or else. XD

Your humble fan,

For always,

~Alexex

_From: xXCookieGiverXx _

_This was amazing :) Simply spectacular!But I feel bad for your past :'(_

Now I understand why_ you __write...and I'm inspired to write even more! :)_

With hugs, kisses, and Chocolate Chip Cookies,

xXCookieGiverXx

**From: Musicluver78901 ()  
**

**Dear Cereal-Killa,**

**you ****are definitely are going places in life, when i ever have a bad day with a  
dumb teacher, really stressed out or tired of life,**** YOU ****were always there for  
me when**** you ****write your fantastic stories. They make me laugh when I am done,  
they got me thinking and they got me feeling.**** You ****are a true inspiration and  
Cereal-Killa, behalf of all your fans and I, we**** thank you******

-Musicluver78901

P.S. Keep writing!

_From: ZiggyTheNinja _

___You __know what._

This is your best story yet.

_You __WILL go places. The fact that your only 15 and can write like this is  
simply amazing._

It may not mean much but I fully suport_ you __and wish__ you __nothing but luck and  
love._

I believe in_ you__._

**From: Rain7427 **

**Oh my god**** you ****are sooo amazing! This was sooo inspirational!**** You ****just made me  
realize that writing is my life and I should work to writing more complex  
stories!**** You ****are much more than a fan**** you ****are a true person who discovered  
their muse and feels good about it!**** Thank you ****sooo much for writing and for  
being so inspirational that it's brought tears to my eyes. I look forward to  
reading your first published book, (****you ****should write it under Cereal-Killa.)  
and seeing**** you ****go far! Ah jeez this is really cheesy it's gotten all  
emotional!**

_From: SleepingAngel ()_

_Dear Cereal,_

I love your stories! I wish I could write as great as_ you __do. I'm sorry about  
the tragies that happed around__ you__. I also love Courtney too. Your proably  
have a great book out some day!_

**From: RandomPersonOfDoom **

**I'll see**** you ****up in the stars.**

_From: ChelseaTheBlondie _

_I don't know why...but this story is pretty inspirational for me._

...and i LOVE it. :D

_You __should write more of these, Cereal.__ You__'re a pretty d*mn good author! (:_

-CB

**From: xladyjagsvolleyball16x **

**Whoo! Testify girl! I'm right there with ya'!**

_From: Humble Reviewer ()_

Best of luck.

**From: **

**Cereal, with writing like yours, I promise that someday,**** you****'ll make it big.  
And, if not, I will personally fly to Kentucky and bash up the ** who stop**** you****  
from acheiving that.**

Because we all deserve to be something in this world, and we all could be.  
It's just that most of us dont find what it is that we could be good at, and  
we end up in some dead-beat job, living a lousy life, watching others acheive  
their dreams, while wishing it was us.

**You ****have something that**** you ****could be big with, and I implore**** you ****to use it!  
Make it big in this world! And someday, when I'm sitting in my apartment in  
Verona, as a succesful...(either lawyer, actor, writer, tv-host, dreamer) I  
will read your famous book and will smile.**

Make it big, and drop me a line when** you ****do!**

(DxC forever!)

_From: LillyBird11 _

_I love this 3 It was so inspiring. I've been in a rut the past few months,  
thinking I was never gonna go anywhere, or ever be recognized. But this story  
helped me get back on my feet. I feel happy again.__ Thank you __c:_

**From: pomtdwt ()**

Cereal,** YOU ****ROCK.**** You****'re gonna be famous if**** you ****keep writing. Stick with it,  
and I will too.**

RANDOM PEOPLE READING THIS!

Even though most of** you ****are older than me, I'm giving**** you ****motherly advice.  
Writing will be your bridge. Sometimes, writing's all we have. These  
characters are our eternal friends. They'll never give up on us. We, the  
writers, need to stick together. Because sometimes, we're all we've got.**

_From: JadeTyga _

_Well if your coming, I'll definitely be there to welcome__ you __then cheer__ you__  
on:) I know that we've talked before, although I'm not sure if it was just an  
OC fic or something. I remember seeing__ you __with this huge number of stories  
near your name and I am seriously kicking my own as* for not reading them._

_You __know, I don't really plan on becoming a writer later on, maybe a lawyer or  
child welfare worker, but out of all the authors that actually say that  
they'll be going somewhere someday,__ you__'re one of the people that I believe to  
follow through with their dream. I know that__ you __realize__ you__'ve already got  
way over 100 reviews and mine is just another one that'll get lost under more,  
but hey, atleast it's there;\_

Anyways,_ you __know how__ you __look up to other people, in a way, I kinda look up  
to__ you__:) I don't know if__ you __know this but__ you__'re kinda paving a way for the  
13 year old authors who lied about their age just to join this site like  
myself. Your like this really talented author that beginners on the site check  
out for ideas or just something fun to read:)_

Now I'm not here to shower_ you __in pity because of your mother, your sister,  
your blood disorder (although even if__ you __aren't religious I'm keeping__ you __in  
prayer:)) but I'm here to just__ thank YOU __for being there when I needed a good  
one-shot to read about my favorite couple. I don't look at anyone on this site  
as just another fan, I would be highly offended if I was labeled as just  
another fan, crushed if I heard it from the ones I look up to. I see the  
people on this site as nothing more than authors, readers, and reviewers;  
people doing things that they love and enjoy, THE PEOPLE OF FICTION!_

I actually hide my writing from my family too, I can't even tell my friends  
since they say they're too "mature" for cartoons, so I understand what_ you__'re  
saying...in a way._

Anyways, I've got to go, so good luck with your dreams, the best advice I can  
give_ you __write now is to follow them:)_

Stay golden,

~JT_out;3

**From: ChloeRhiannonX **

**Hey, Cereal :)**

My name's Chloe and I just wanted to say what a true inspiration** you****'ve been  
to me as an aspiring author myself.**

I know this is probably the first time I've reviewed one of your  
stories(because DSi's are really hard to review on these days...), but I have  
read most of them since I joined Fanfiction last year. I enjoy everyone one I  
read because I think** you ****really do have the potential and a gift to become an  
author.**

One of the reasons I have 92 stroies myself is because I wanted to be up there  
with** you****, with over one hundred...I know I don't have as many reviewers or  
readers as**** you****, but if I ever do reach that amount, I would be so happy and  
proud of myself.**

I really do believe that** you ****will one day become an author, because I will  
read your books.**

~Love, ChloeRhiannonX

_From: TheSocialLoner _

_...Bravo._

I wish that I could say something witty or smart about this, but I can't. Your  
writing speaks for itself, it always has. This was moving, on many levels.

Damn straight,_ you__'re gonna be big. And don't ever let anyone tell__ you__  
otherwise._

**From: Elaine ()**

I really like this...contribute (I guess)** you ****put out. I'm only 13. I've been  
writing since I was 12 on Quizilla. I tried writing DxC stories but they never  
gained success. So I stopped. But I wrote more fictional stories and they're  
better. And still getting better. This just helped me even more.**** Thank you****.  
And yes,**** you ****will go far. :)**

_From: Lottiee0-0 _

_Amazing, absolutely amazing.__ You __are really talented, I adore your stories  
and believe it or not__ you__'ve help me through so much your an inspiration to  
me, your writing's what I look forward to, your the only reason I begged my  
mum for a new laptop, your writing my drug and despite every time I remind  
myself I need to sleep I'd rather stay up till 3 in the morning on a school  
night just to read what__ you__'ve wrote I just can't help myself,__ you__'ve got me  
hooked. And for some reason every time I read one of your fanfics, I'm almost  
in tears. I sit there in school on my phone reading your stories again and  
again waiting for__ you __to upload. Please don't ever stop writing, I'd love to  
be able to write like__ you__, your a natural._

I hope to see your name small printed on the cover of a book some day, because  
I know_ you __will indeed go far._

Good look.

lots of love,

-Lotem (lottie).


	2. We Miss You, Total Drama

Now Tell Us How You Really Feel

2-

**We Miss You, Total Drama**

I am, at this moment, really, really pissed off.

I have just paddled fifteen miles in a canoe. My curly brown hair is an absolute wreak. My eyeliner is all messed up. And, I have been burnt- quote me!- fifteen times by the damn toxic waters.

I look up at the old camp that I used to know and love.

What has happened?

The old sign 'Wawanakwa' has faded, one side broken and sitting lamely on the side of the dock, of which one side has been ripped to pieces. Obviously, it must have been an eventful first episode.

It takes a lot to boat all the way out here, just to see your favorite campers once again. Some may call it stalking, but I just call it love. I hadn't seen them since I watched the last episode of the World Tour. I couldn't wait any longer.

I chew my lip and run off toward the cabins. I look around, seeing the same, awful setting as season one and feel myself grin. I feel like I'm eleven again, watching the first episode and laughing. It wasn't the best of humor, but it was original. And I miss it.

I run over to the one I recognize the most- the Killer Bass cabin. And yeah, my heart is beating all fast and everything because I plan on going in there to totally dry hump Duncan in his sleep. No! I lied! I'm actually going in there to kick his ass for cheating on Courtney!

Then I'm going to dry hump him.

Anyway, I walk through the door and feel myself scream.

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?"

The mess hall seat feels hard and I probably have a splinter going on my butt but I don't dare move. Chris McClean is sitting in front of my, signature smirk plastered on his face as he waits for me to start. Chef is standing in the kitchen, washing a dish (not thoroughly, mind you) as I take a deep breath. I feel my heart jump. "Why?"

Chris doesn't hesitate. "Why what?"

I feel my heart hammer. "Why the hell did you do this?" Obviously, I've gotten too loud, since Chris cringes a little at my tone. I can't find it in my heart to care right now. "You got rid of all of them, and for... for... whoever the hell those posers are out there?"

I'm getting too upset. I scratch at the scar on my left arm that's been there since long before I can remember.

The host watches me silently. "We've had a lot of fans try to come here, before... though none of them have been as... emotional as you." I sniff, looking away from him. I hate that word, 'fan'. It means nothing to me. "I personally didn't get rid of them. The producers just thought they were getting old. We need something new."

I clench my teeth together. "I... They were old." I say.

Chris raises a brow. He obviously didn't think I would agree. "I'm glad you see it our way."

To that, I shook my head. "No way. I don't see it 'your way'." I spoke softly. I looked at the old coffee mugs, and I could almost envision Duncan stuffing one under his shirt, Courtney telling him to stop, the scenes are rolling through my head. Harold, walking through with a penciled on mustache, Heather, coming out of the freezer looking blue and eyebrow-less, Beth, sneaking chips underneath the table.

All of these memories coming back to me.

Because that's what they are.

Memories.

"When I was younger, I sat down and watched Spongebob, Family Guy, all that stuff. Plotless. Stupid. Pointless."

I take a deep breath. I'm about to cry. I try to keep the tears from pouring over. "And then I watched Total Drama Island. And I..."

"I loved it so much."

That's no exaggeration.

You can't watch something with that much feeling, you can't write with this much joy, you just can't do it unless you're doing it for something you love.

"And yeah, the challenges were stupid, the humor was a bit warped at times, but..."

"The cast..." I said, softly, looking down at the table, "...was flawless."

"They were unique, different, each with their own personality that differed so crudely from one another's."

I feel a grin stretch across my face as I point a finger at Chris. I look into his black, beady eyes and feel my heart clench with devotion. "Without them..."

"...Total Drama is going to shit."

Chris gives me a hard stare, as he sighs audibly. "...I know."

I don't really care when they shoot me out of a catapult. I watch the camp fade from my sight, feeling the tears finally spill down my cheeks. But I'm smiling.

Everyone of those characters meant something to me, from my least favorite characters all the way to my OTP. So maybe I'll have to deal with the fact that Duncan and Gwen were together in the end. Maybe I'll have to understand that Sierra and Alejandro really were added to the show even if I didn't like them. I'm going to have to look and know that Harold, Courtney, Cody, Eva, Ezekiel, Tyler, Lindsay, Leshawna, Trent, and everyone else that would take much too long to mention have been replaced by these new freaks.

Maybe.

Or maybe they'll be back.

And maybe, Total Drama will be my favorite show again.

As for now?

At least I have the memories.

IN LOVING MEMORY

Beth- The Wannabe

Bridgette- The Surfer Chick

Cody- The Self Proclaimed Ladies Man

Courtney- The Overachiever

DJ- The Gentle Wimp

Duncan- The Bad Boy

Eva- The Body Builder

Ezekiel- The Homeschooled Kid

Geoff- The Party Guy

Gwen- The Goth Girl

Harold- The Geek

Heather- The Backstabber

Izzy- The Crazy Chick

Justin- The Hot Guy

Katie- The Annoying Best Friend

Leshawna- The Ghetto Chick

Lindsay- The Dumb Blonde

Noah- The Bookworm

Owen- The Fat Guy

Sadie- The Other Annoying Best Friend

Trent- The Cool Guy

Tyler- The Non-skillful Athlete

...and I guess Sierra the creeper and Alejandro the jackass too.

TOTAL DRAMA ORINGINAL CAST

WE FREAKING MISS YOU!

LOVE,

THE TOTAL DRAMA FANDOM

"See you next time on

TOTAL

DRAMA

ISLAND!"


End file.
